What Is It Really Like To Be A Neurodivergent Horse Rider?
I hope you’re sitting comfortably, because I have a LOT to say on this topic… So grab a drink, a snack and enjoy!
Last week, Horse and Hound released an article on hidden disabilities, the effect they have on horse riders and hinted and what else equestrian governing bodies could be doing to help. I found it really interesting, in part largely due to the fact that I have ADHD and Dyspraxia, but also because I genuinely find this topic so interesting and have done since I before I was diagnosed.
What is neurodiversity?
If someone is classed as being neurodivergent, it means that their neurological and cognitive functions differ from what is considered typical or normal. In my case, this manifests itself as ADHD and Dyspraxia.
What is ADHD?
ADHD is described basically by the NHS as being a disorder that noticeably affects ones behaviour. On a more complex level, it is a developmental impairment of the brain’s executive functions.
This can result in:
Impulsivity
Difficulty focussing/inattention
Poor time-management
Hyperfocus
Hyperactivity
Executive dysfunction
Exaggerated emotions, including difficulty controlling emotions and being affected by rejection sensitivity.
Within this, there are a whole host of other “symptoms” that can manifest themselves and they vary from person to person.
What is Dyspraxia?
Dyspraxia is a condition that affects a person’s fine and gross motor skills and coordination. But it also affects us cognitively as well. Signs of dyspraxia include:
Poor spatial awareness
Difficulty learning new movements and skills, or transferring known motor skills to new situations
Extra effort (mental and physical) needed to carry out activities others find easy
Difficulty keeping up with conversations
Difficulty speaking (if they have verbal dyspraxia)
Difficulty organising themselves and their thoughts
Issues with attention, working memory and time management
As a result, both conditions can also have a large impact on one’s ability to make friends, behaviour and self-esteem.
How does my ADHD and Dyspraxia affect me?
Where do I start? Symptoms of ADHD and Dyspraxia that I often show are:
Difficulty focussing on one task. I’m often aware of absolutely everything going on around me that I struggle to focus on any one task.
On the flip side, when I exhibit hyperfocus, I’m so set on getting that one task/activity done, that I am completely unaware of anything else that is happening around me.
Difficulty controlling emotions, especially when there is a lot going on.
Poor time-management. I’m often rushing to places, or ridiculously early. There is no in-between. I also have a tendency to think I can complete more in a time-frame than is probably realistic.
Impulsivity. I’m often one to say yes to things that I really want to do, even if physically I can’t or I don’t have enough time to.
Struggle with organisation and working memory. I have to write ALL of my to-do’s down. If I don’t, something will get forgotten. I also struggle if someone gives me a verbal list of jobs that need doing. The first and last tasks will get done but if you don’t give me a written list, or chance to write it down, the middle tasks will get forgotten.
Poor spatial awareness and hand-eye coordination. I am possibly one of the clumsiest people I know, to the extent that I can be running during a rugby training session and will randomly fall over. Which leads me on to…
Lack of ability to engage my muscles, particularly my core.
Difficulty keeping up with conversations, especially if more than one person is involved.
My brain never stops working. I’m always thinking about something.
Difficulty coordinating new movements.
Rejection sensitive and perfectionism. I’m constantly striving to have everything go “right” and if it doesn’t I am the worst for beating myself up about it. I also internalise the feeling that I have let others down if I make a small mistake and am so sensitive to feeling like I’ve done something to upset someone (even if I haven’t).
How does this then impact my riding?
My ADHD and Dyspraxia affect my day-to-day life in a multitude of ways, but it’s particularly noticeable within my riding and life as a horse owner.
For example:
I struggle to get my brain to “shut-off” and allow me to focus fully on each and every ride. Which makes maintaining concentration in a lesson, or a competition very difficult.
Due to my working memory difficulties, I can’t commit more than one dressage test to memory. I’ve tried believe me, but I need to have a caller if I’m doing more than one and even then I will sometimes get it wrong.
Getting something wrong in a test, and beating myself up because I have let myself, my pony and others down because of it.
Struggling to focus especially within a warm-up at a show or during competitions where there are multiple rings next to each other. I’ve been known to accidentally start a dressage test on someone else’s bell, and I find warm up rings really overwhelming to the extent that my warm up isn’t often that effective.
If I have multiple horses to ride, or jobs to do at the yard, I often feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. Often because I feel like I only have so much mental capacity to do the jobs well. This often results in ponies not getting ridden or jobs not getting done.
I’ve been know to impulsively enter (or say I’ll enter a competition) because I really want to do it, only to be disappointed when I’m not quite ready for it. This has been known to cause me to get quite upset.
I often lack the ability to be able to articulate exactly what I struggle with within lessons, because my brain is too busy it’s hard to decipher exactly what I’m thinking.
I struggle to engage my core and use my seat effectively when riding. And don’t get me started on coordinating my legs, seat and hands so they’re all doing different jobs and working effectively at the same time.
There’s endless frustration because I know a neurotypical person who had the same background as me would be significantly further along with their riding that I am. Progress often feels slow and like it’s one step forward and two steps back.
There’s often comparison between myself and other neurotypical riders. Both by myself and others. And whilst often from others it can be phrased in an encouraging way e.g. “think of how X does Y, that’s what you need to think of” and as something for me to aspire to be like, it does the complete opposite.
Knowing I want to ride, but not having the drive to physically get myself to the yard to ride. This often results in less time for me to focus on riding as I’ve taken so long to be able to get myself to the yard.
Not leaving enough time to get a horse ready for competition, or enough time once there to warm up.
Yes, I struggle a lot with managing my ADHD and dyspraxia with riding, but it isn’t all doom and gloom.
Because whilst I do struggle with the riding. there’s often a lot of positive within there as well.
Because riding is one of the only hobbies that I have stuck with for longer than a year or two (we’re getting onto 21 years this year…).
Because through riding I have met some of my closest friends.
And whilst my brain is often still busy, it is normally at its quietest, and most relaxed, when I’m with the horses and riding. Believe me when I say, for someone with ADHD, there is no other feeling like it and it provides a huge sense of relief.
What accommodations are made for this within the equestrian industry?
In the UK, there aren’t a lot. Or at least, they aren’t easy to find. For example, above a certain level in British Dressage, you’re not allowed a caller in dressage tests. This means that if I wanted to aim for any championships or area festivals, I would only be able to do so for one level, as there is no way I would be able to remember multiple tests.
Similarly, in British Eventing, you aren’t allowed a caller in the dressage phase at all. Which makes the idea of competing in a one day event very overwhelming as not only do I have to train for, but I have to remember a dressage test, a course of show jumps and a cross country course to be completed in one day.
According to the Horse and Hound there is help and accommodations on offer by these organisations, it isn’t clear where to go to get this. Which means getting this extra support and removing the barrier to entry that much harder. There are also some CPD courses for coaches on teaching clients who are neurodivergent which I think is a step in the right direction, but more does still need to be done.
What could be done?
There is so much that could be done, but the likelihood of all of them coming to fruition is slim. Things I’d like to see within equestrian sports are:
The ability to have a caller for dressage and eventing, whatever the level.
A way of mangaging warm-up arenas so they are less busy.
Having access to course maps prior to the competitions.
A physical gesture alongside a bell to signal that a competitor can start.
More awareness around the struggles those who are neurodivergent face. It would be great to see compulsory modules within coaching qualifications rather than have them as optional CPD.
Making it more obvious where we can go to apply for/get the reasonable accommodations to compete in the sport we love.
That’s it for now, I promise. I did warn you it would be a long one 😉 But I think it is definitely a topic that needs to be discussed more, and more needs to be done within the sport, to remove any barriers to entry that those who are neurodivergent face.
What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments!